True Muggle Forms
by SarahKayy
Summary: (WRITTEN IN 2010) OFFICIALLY LABELLED A 'SARAH-K CLASSIC': Have you ever wondered who Harry Potter, his friends and his enemies would be if they were all muggles? Here's your chance to find out. Hilarious and special. Co-written by Kenz05Hett.


HEY :) THIS IS AN UPDATE WRITTEN 4 YEARS AFTER THIS STORY WAS POSTED. I AM MUCH OLDER NOW AND MY WRITING HAS IMPROVED GREATLY. I DEBATED DELETING THIS STORY BUT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN WITH A FRIEND WHEN WE WERE ONLY 13-14 YEARS OLD. I DECIDED TO KEEP IT UP BUT I'M OFFICIALLY LABELLING IT AS A 'SARAH-K CLASSIC'.

ENJOY ;D

Harry Potter Characters… IN REAL LIFE!

**Harry Potter **- Stuck up snobby popular famous person who always gets attention and whatever he wants because his parents died.

**Ronald Weasley **- The clingy best friend who is a total loser and just wants to fit in… but never will. He has no soul… GINGER!

**Hermione Granger **- Anti-social bookworm only made popular by Harry. Tries not to be his friend but isn't cruel enough to tell him she hates him. FRENEMIE!

**Albus Percival Wulfric Brain Dumbledore** - Escaped the loonie bin. Old perverted creeper who thinks he can do magic and talks to himself (Split personality/Fawkes).

**Neville Longbottom** - Odd looking, weird talking loner. He reads a lot. Has an imaginary friend named Trevor. Likes Hermione because she's smart. Hates Harry Potter for taking all the fame. His parents died too!

**Ginny Weasley - **Typical fan girl who stalks Harry Potter. Her brother Ron tells her to stop but she just beats him up.

**Fred and George Weasley - **It is one person with two personalities. They have very odd conversations with themselves and have an obsession with whoopee cushions. Love to play pranks on people and everybody is always upset at them for it.

**Sirius Black - **Escapee from jail. He is a wanted man. Generally nice with a twisted sense of humour from being in jail so long. He is not guilty. Very loyal to Harry even though Harry pretends not to know him. Slightly puppy-doggish and always smells of dog.

**Remus Lupin - **Is a morphodite. Has once a month cycles of moodiness. Many tease him about "His time of the month". Gym teacher at a public school. All students believe he's slightly wacko…

**Luna Lovegoode - **Constantly in dream land. Is never really with the real world and prefers her own world. Totally out of it and slightly insane… in a good way. Always picked on but she never takes it seriously so it doesn't bother her.

**Draco Malfoy - **Narcissist. Thinks he's the best at everything. Always fighting with Harry about who's better. Hates Harry's fame and would do anything for fame. Very attractive while Harry isn't so Harry is always mad when Draco gets all the girls and all Harry gets is sympathy… and his personal stalker: Ginny.

**Severus Snape - **Strict, no sense of humour and favours Draco Malfoy's posse. Chemistry teacher at a Secondary School. Has the record for giving out the most detentions. Very bad personal hygiene and is constantly mourning the loss of his "True Love: Harry's mother, Lily Potter". Hates Harry for looking like his father, who stole Lily. Always gives him bad grades. A spy for the local police to help arrest gangs involved with taking over the world under the influence of "Voldie".

**Lucius Malfoy - **Father of Draco Malfoy. Deeply involved with "Voldie", believes in what he stands for strongly and wishes for world conquest. Very rich and allows son to buy whatever he may want. Unknowingly being spied very closely be Severus Snape, almost being caught while initiating in gang activities. Believes Severus is a friend. Will do anything for power, like his son.

**Bellatrix Lestrange - **Crazy, demented cousin of Sirius Black. Does whatever she's told and longs to be with "Voldie". The kind of person you may not want to be in a room alone with because you may never be coming back… INSANE! The person the police are after. Total serial-killer.

**Lord Voldemort - **His nickname is Voldie. Calls himself "Lord" because he's craving power and obsessed with conquering the world. A crazy, power hungry, bald, drunk man. Killed Harry's parents because Lily insulted his shoes and James agreed. Harry hates him but loves him at the same time for getting him the attention (and loves his shoes, Harry does not understand his parents fashion sense). It's a love/hate relationship. Currently attempting to perform "Project 1 - World Domination".

**Author's Note - **We know we didn't include some characters. We're sorry if we didn't include your favourite. We could only use the more specified characters, _and it's late, give us a break. _I hope the main characters are good enough. If you have any character requests, PM us and let us know. We may be able to add an extra chapter. _What she said. _

_Kenz05Hett (italics in authors note)_

And

SK (regular print but much farther from regular in real life…)

_That's not fair… jees I hate this keyboard. I thought I was the weird one… blegh. _

Trust me… we're both pretty weird. Who else would have come up with this idea and done it at 2 in the morning after being banned from caffeine? And who else would be having a convo like this for our… WONDERFUL readers!

…_mmm… caffeine. I could use some bacon though.. Oh right! The readers… so wonderful.. LUVS! And we would buddy, we would.. And are. _

Anyways… It's after 2 in the morning and we're tired so this may not be very spell checked. We'll try to be quiet so we don't get kicked off the computer… ENJOY!

_Of course… BACON!_

**Disclaimer: No Harry Potter for us… : ( We owe it all to J.K. Rowling who's name keeps appearing as Jelly on my computer because someone added it as a shortcut.**

**J. = Jelly. For some reason…**

_PURPLE!_


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